Jemima, you suck.

God, I hate the book Jemima J.

Several years ago when it came out, a friend of mine sent it to me because she said it was wonderful.  It's about an overweight girl who meets someone fabulous on the internet, decides to lose weight, and goes to see him after she gets thin.  I love chick lit and I love books about fat girls, so I was eager to read it.

The rest of this post will probably have a lot of spoilers about this ridiculous book, so if you haven't read it and you want to, probably best to skip this post.

Anyway. So Jemima Jones is portrayed as being the fattest fuck in all of England.  No one is as fat as Jemima. She's got triple chins.  She puts the ass in massive.  Her stomach is huge as hell.  She's FAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

Naturally, she has a thin and beautiful girl friend, thin and beautiful roommates, and a huge crush on the hottest man ever.

So then she discovers the internet and chat rooms.  And, as it happens, she lies like a dummy to this guy she starts chatting with.  Hey, we've all been there!!  When it turns out that the guy she's chatting with actually is extremely fit and gorgeous as all get out, Jemima decides to join a gym.

Awesome. No matter what the catalyst is, getting healthy is NEVER a problem.

But here's where the book loses me.  No, not just loses me.  Makes me angry!

Jemima goes into the gym for her assessment with a trainer. He says he needs to weigh her. Okay, okay...I'm with you so far.  This actually happens.  Jemima is sad about getting on the scale. Hey, been there, too.  And then the weight pops up on the scale.

204 pounds.

Yes, I wrote that right.

Jemima Jones, the fattest thing in all of England, is 204 pounds.

A little bit later we discover that she's 5'7 in height.  I went over to My Body Gallery and popped in those measurements.  Do you know what a woman who is 5'7 and 205 pounds looks like?

Get the fuck out of town.

So Jemima basically starves herself, works out a lot, and gets to 120 pounds in a few months.  She flies off to meet the gorgeous Brad, who conveniently owns a gym, falls in love with him, and then gets fucked over when it turns out that he actually likes fat girls.  Then the guy she had originally had a crush on sees her thin and falls in love with her.

Well then.

This book would have been so so much better had  Jemima like, you know, actually BEEN fat.  Or if her first crush had loved her despite her weight and had been too shy to tell her.  Or if she'd just been happy enough to get fit despite all these men.

I hate this book.

The Sum of It All

So I had my training session yesterday with my new trainer.  Well, okay.  I keep calling him "new" even though we've been together now for almost 2 months.  My original trainer, Seth, left our gym in early September for a new and better career.  I was lucky to have him for as long as I did, and I really hope he's doing well.

Surprisingly (or unsurprisingly, knowing how I am)  I kind of lost my motivation after Seth left.  I guess I don't deal well with change. It's not that I was working out FOR him.  It was just that we were buddies, and I enjoyed our 30 minutes together each week, and I liked showing him what I had done the during the week when he wasn't with me.  We chatted about his kids and my boyfriend and music and movies. It was fun.

After he left, I was paired up with another guy, Johnathon.  Now don't get me wrong. I like my new trainer just fine.  He's a nice guy, and I think he is a better trainer than Seth was because he's very very efficient with our time.   When we finish a workout, I know that I have worked my muscles about as hard as I possibly could without hurting myself.  But we're not really buddies yet.  And maybe we're not really supposed to be. He's hired to give me a workout once a week, which he does and does quite well.

No, my problem now is really just with myself.  I can't seem to make myself go to the gym if I don't have a scheduled session and that's terribly terribly bad.  I'm unhappy that I haven't lost much weight.  Back in the summer when I was at the gym 3-5 days a week and eating better, I wasn't losing much.  I have lost body fat.  I have gained muscle.  But the scale is hovering around the same number that it was at when I started this whole thing back in June and I don't know how to fix that.

Well, no.  I do know how.  I just don't want to do it.

And that pretty much sums up my life right now.

Hey, fat guy

Someone on MyFitnessPal pointed us to Hey, Fat Girl last week, and it was seriously one of the best things I had ever read.  I felt like they were talking to ME in a way.  The post was brought up in a topic where someone was having doubts about going to the gym because of her weight.  I've been extremely blessed to be able to go to this gym at this point in time because the people there are pretty fantastic. No one makes rude comments.  If anything, people seem to go out of their way to come tell me when they've noticed I had a good workout, or they simply say hi, or smile at me.  It's very supportive and the gym is a safe place for me.

While I was there today finishing up my workout, a guy walked in.  Our treadmills overlook the gym and so I noticed when he walked in.  I feel like I need to say something to him.


Hey, fat guy.

You walked into the gym on a Sunday afternoon when almost every guy there is a weight lifter.  I'm not blind. I see how incredibly fit their bodies are.  I know they put a lot of work into looking that good because I see them there squatting, curling, lifting, pushing. They have six pack abs and well defined, muscular arms.  They carry milk jugs with water, and they're all over the gym doing their thing.  Some of them probably haven't eaten a real sandwich that wasn't fashioned out of a lettuce wrap in years.  Watching you walk past them was like watching a fluffy baby bunny walk past a pack of sleek, toned lions.

It took you a bit to come up the stairs to the cardio area.  I know how hard it is to walk up those stairs when you're carrying extra weight.  Your knees, like my own, probably creak with every step.  I watched you out of the corner of my eye while you got up on one of the machines.

I completely admire you.

It's not easy to be the biggest at the gym.  I'm always the biggest when I go in, and I'm pretty sure you and I are neck and neck in that department.  But you still came in.  You marched right past the weight lifters and got on with your workout.  Although you didn't stay on the machine long, you still did it.

When my own workout was finished, I noticed you in the basketball court.  Part of me wanted to come in and tell you that I loved that you were there today.  The other part figured you'd look at me like I was crazy. Which, you know, would have been okay since I get that look a lot.

I hope I see you there again sometime.  I hope one day you're there with the lions.

Gym Talk

I'm sitting here this morning enjoying a nice plate of bacon and eggs.

Okay, that's kind of a lie.  I'm sitting here, after eating a piece of pan dulce, eating a plate of lower sodium turkey bacon and one scrambled egg because I need to get in some protein so I can go to the gym and not fall apart after 15 minutes on the elliptical from a sugar crash.

Turkey bacon makes me a little angry.  I know it means well, but it's not real bacon and it never will be.  Any time I eat it, I think about that scene from the last Harry Potter movie.

Not that I'm calling Snape turkey bacon, because Snape is awesome, but let's face it - he was no Dumbledore in terms of being a great headmaster.

I've yet to see a difference on the scale regarding my weight.  I don't even see a difference in my body.  This makes the Crazy Eating Disordered Girl in me a little nuts.  I mean, it's natural to want to see SOME progress.  The only thing I can say is that I don't look quite as bloated but that's subjective.

The logical part of me knows that it's going to take some time.  I know that I'm supposed to be putting on some muscle because I kind of don't have any.  No, really.  I have so much body fat on me, I cannot use the fat counter thing at the gym.  It doesn't register.

Basically, I'm veal.

I know that in a month, I'm sure to start seeing a bit of a change in my body.  The weight is sure to start dropping and things will be okay, but I'm part of The Biggest Loser crowd.  I want to see a 30 pound loss in the first week.  I know that isn't right, I know that their circumstances are much different than my own less than an hour workouts and free access to double cream cheese are.  They work out 4-5 hours a day and are on a restricted diet and have 'round the clock care.  Physically, I do what I can and then listen to SOMEONE complaining that there's nothing to eat for the rest of the day.  30 pounds in one week?  Not happening for this girl.

But I feel different.  I don't feel like dying when I walk across a parking lot into a store anymore.  I don't hunt for the absolute closest parking space. [Actually, more on that in a minute.]  I can get up from my chair without struggling too much.  I feel good.  Not great or anything, but a lot better than I felt when I walked into the gym for the first time.  I know my diet still needs tweaking, but it's the exercise that has really made all the difference.  I truly believe that.

Can I talk about the dumb tramps that go to my gym, though?

For the most part, everyone I've really met there has been helpful and supportive and genuinely kind.  It's a place that I enjoy going to.  But there are 3 types of women who go there that I want to punch in the face:

1.  The Juice Bar Bunnies.

My gym has a nice little juice bar. You can get smoothies and fruit and water, stuff like that.  But there are always a few women who seem to only come for the juice.  I've yet to see them do more than 10-15 minutes on the elliptical before they're down there sucking on a straw.  Honey, let me tell you - if this is all you're after, head down the road about half a mile and hit up Jamba Juice.  You can walk around the parking lot if you're so inclined.

2. The Pretty Princesses.


Why are you at the gym in full makeup with your hair done?  You're there to sweat, not pick up a man.  Scrub off your mascara before your sweat makes it bleed into your eyes, scrape your hair back into a ponytail, and WORK OUT.  I know you probably didn't just come from work being that I usually am there at 10 in the morning.  Also? Stop taking up entire benches in the locker room with all your equipment while you sit and text.  Some of us just want to put our purse up so we can do our thing. [Most of these women are Juice Bar Bunnies, too.]

3. The "Oh God, I Have To Do WHAT?" Wenches.


These women drive me nuts.  They're outside hiding behind their cars smoking a cigarette before coming into the gym.  They flit from machine to machine, not really breaking a sweat on any of them.  They drive around the parking lot multiple times because they're looking for the closest parking space they can get.  It's a gym! Walk a little further! AND STOP GETTING IN MY WAY.

I really should stop sitting here complaining about stuff and get off my own ass and go to the gym.  Plus, my boyfriend woke up early, disturbed my quiet, and now I need to go work off some of my irritation.

Gym Time

So that didn't really go as expected.

I headed into the gym on Monday morning, SmartWater in hand, phone holding a couple of mixes from Rock My Run, ready to hop up on an elliptical and pound away for a while.  I was convinced that since I had belonged to this particular gym last year, I wouldn't have to sit through the whole spiel on training sessions, or get beat up by a trainer.  When I'd initially joined this gym, my free personal assessment [basically the "Please buy training packages" session] was given to me by this young guy who seemed nice, then made me do more than my body was capable of doing, and then he tried to shame me into buying a monthly set of training sessions for $500.  Yeah. That was happening.

But, as soon as I got there, I was hustled off to a guy named Joey.  I told him immediately that I was not going to get training sessions and he said that was fine.  And then we talked. And talked. And he led me through a workout that left me energized rather than ashamed.

Yep. I walked out of the gym having signed up for a year of training sessions.

Guess I really will buy anything from anyone who tells me I look like I'm 25.

Okay, not really.  But Joey and another trainer DID tell me I looked like I was in my 20s. Yay for good genes!

So, I have one training session a week with whatever trainer I sign up with. I guess Joey doesn't do sessions there enough or something.  He signed me up for a session yesterday with a guy named Seth since I made him laugh by saying if I had a female trainer, I'd probably tell her where to get off if she tried to make me do something I didn't want to do.  Let's face it, I work better with men. But I think having a trainer is a good thing for someone like me.  I obviously cannot do this on my own anymore.  I've lost control of the situation.  I need someone to help me so that 1, I keep going, and 2, so I don't hurt myself.

I was sore yesterday when I went for my first "real" training session.  Seth made me more sore.  Luckily for me, he had a very large weight problem at one point [I'm beginning to wonder if that's a requirement for these trainers since Joey said he had a problem too being that he is a chef.] and that REALLY put me at ease. It's easier to work with someone who understands that someone who is my size cannot do the same things as some girl who only has 20 pounds to lose.

When I woke up this morning, my entire body ached. I mean, my thighs were absolutely angry and my arms have seen better days. My whole body seemed to be telling me, "Hey, remember the good old days?  Like, you know, last week? When we'd lay in bed and then get up and sit? Can we do that again?"

I'll admit it, I didn't want to go to the gym today.  I started talking myself out of it.  I'm tired, I'm sore, I need a recovery day, I don't wannaaaaa....  But then I started thinking about my family, about how my parents are paying for this, about how much I'm sick of this body.  I told myself to get off my fat ass and go.

Okay, so then while I was getting ready, I was cranky towards my boyfriend and he didn't seem to like it, but if I have to exercise, I want him to do it, too!  He's not going to, because he is kind of lazy, but I keep thinking if maybe I nag enough, eventually I'll get him to come in with me at least once.

So I went.  I moaned to myself all the way up the stairs. Every step was felt deep in my thighs.  I managed 10 minutes on the treadmill, and then 20 minutes on the elliptical.  I used to be able to do so much more, but I did what I could.  Seth had told me to put the resistance up higher on the elliptical rather than just doing longer at a lower resistance, which makes sense to me.  The trip back down the stairs was a ton harder than going up the stairs, which made me think, "What? Is this opposite day?"  Every step made my legs shake.  I held on to the railing and went slow, which was kind of embarrassing, but it would have been more embarrassing if I'd tried to go faster and fell ass over heels down the steps.

As I was leaving, this older gentleman walked out with me. He wanted to chat with me a bit just to offer some support.  He told me that "try" and "hope" need to be out of my vocabulary.  I need to just put my heart into it and do it.  He also said that, not to offend me or anything, but I'm really pretty and if I just lost weight, I'd be even more amazing looking. From his lips to God's ears, you know??

Oh, and he thought I was 27.

Kinda love the men at the gym these days!

I have cardio again tomorrow, then Friday is a rest day but only because I'm stuck going to jury duty. I'm hoping I can get that over with quickly and maybe get in a short workout, but we'll see.  Rest is just as necessary as working out, and I definitely don't want to burn out too quickly.  I have too many people behind me this time.

Let's not be like Bee

I come from a small family.  Not small in numbers, but everyone is fairly thin.  I'm one of the tallest females, although I'm only 5'5.  I'm definitely one of the the biggest females. When I stand next to my skinny beautiful cousins and my tiny little aunts, it can be incredibly awkward.  At least, it's awkward for me. My family loves me no matter how I look.

But, despite my out of control obesity, my mom's cousin Bee is actually bigger than me.  In fact, she's probably twice my size.  The last time I had seen her, she was well over 500lbs, and from what we've been told, she's gained more because she will hit up several fast food restaurants and get a couple of burgers or tacos or whatever from each and eat it all.  And I get it.  I, too, used to do the same thing.  Only I purged it out because that's how I dealt with my unhappiness.  She just eats more.  I suspect it's because she might be lonely, but unfortunately she's got kind of a bad attitude.  You know the type.  She's even told people not to bother coming to her house unless they come over to clean it.

We discovered a few days ago that Bee's health is definitely going downhill quickly.  For the past couple of years she's used a walker. I think the last time I saw her, which was probably 3 or 4 years ago, she had a cane.  Now it's getting harder and harder for her to get around.  She's diabetic.  Worse than that, she needs a heart bypass surgery.  Even worse than that? She's refused to get it.

Basically, she's decided to die.

Since there's not really much anyone can do for her now, the family has decided to turn their eyes on me since I'm the next biggest.  They're worried. They pray. They ask about me. And as sweet as that is, it makes me feel bad.  I don't want to be a worry to anyone, ever, and the fact that I'm causing my family any kind of worry does really really bother me.

So, I have to fix it.

I have been thinking for a while about rejoining my old gym.  I know that exercise is really going to have to be the key here because I don't eat badly.  I just don't move enough. Not even nearly enough.

After my doctor's visit this past week [and yes, my weight was totally brought up] my mom called me the next day and told me that she and my dad had been talking, and if I wanted, they would pay for me to rejoin the gym AND pay for any new workout clothing I'd need.

Well.  Twist my arm a little harder, I guess?

I registered today on the website and I'm planning on getting up early tomorrow to go.

I feel like I should be more nervous about going back, or even sad because I know for a fact that there is no way in blue hell that I will be able to do the workouts I used to do. [Yet, anyway.]   But I'm not.  I'm happy.  I'm happy to have somewhere to go, and to know that I'm finally going to do what needs to be done to start getting healthier again.

Weekends

Weekends are usually harder to keep to any kind of diet. Is it like that for everyone?  Of course, I think of Saturdays as my "cheat days" because I think everyone deserves a chance to eat something very delicious without feeling guilty once in a while.

This time, I did end up tracking my food, the good & the bad, just because I need to be in the habit of doing that.  I ate at lunch with my parents like I normally would, and WOW. The calories were HUGE.  I didn't even feel like I ate that much, but it was what I ate that really put me into "Who do you think you are, Michael Phelps?" range.  Okay, not that bad, but near enough.  The even worse part is that I know that there have been days - weeks - months - where almost every meal has been that crazy calorie filled.  Even if I wasn't eating a lot, and there have been many many times when I thought I was doing okay because I wasn't cramming much food in, I know what I was eating was bad for me.

I'm heading to the doctor this week to get a bit of a check up. Mostly I'm curious to be weighed.  I know, right? Who WANTS to be weighed?  But our scale is very inconsistent lately.  I'll step on it once and get my weight, then step on it again and it'll be 10 pounds lower.  Um, yeah...no.  As nice as that looks, I really really need a real reading.  And a better scale!

Extra Picky

One thing about the FHP household is that we tend to change eating habits on a dime. It's probably not the best way to go about things, but that's just how we roll.

After a month of me trying to incorporate more veggies, fruits, and whole grains - and less red meat - into the eating plan, my adorable boyfriend (bless his heart) decided to go on his version of a low carb diet.

What can you do, right?

I can't be MAD exactly, because we gave it a month and he didn't like anything I made, despite the fact that I'm not a terrible cook.  And he IS cutting sugar from his diet, which is what he needs to do right now. I just kind of feel like my time was a bit wasted.  I know I shouldn't feel that way since I've gotten a chance to eat things that we normally don't eat. But yeah...can't help but be a little put out.

But, you have to learn to roll with the punches and decide what works and what doesn't.  Obviously, what we were doing wasn't working for him.  In some ways, it wasn't working for me either because I felt really angry all of the time about dinner.  Like, ridiculously angry!  Anger and stress are like diet killers, so it's not good for me to feel that way.

The problem now is that he's doing his diet thing, and I can't (and won't) eat what he's eating all of the time. His version of a low carb diet doesn't include a lot of variety, or fruits and vegetables.  I need to now look up a lot of good, healthy, low carb recipes for us.  I don't want to eat a lot of red meat because I've felt better since we've kept our red meat meals down to about twice a week.  I don't want to eat a lot of fatty meat, although he will say it's necessary to eat fat. (It is, but the right kinds, you know.)  And I definitely want to keep adding more veggies into our meals because that's really really important to me.

Now if HE will go along with this.... I guess that remains to be seen.

All Hail Kale!

I've heard about a billion and one good things about kale chips in the past year. Kale, being a leafy green veggie, is pretty much a nutrient filled rockstar in the veggie world.  I mean, check out some of what kale can offer you!  Vitamin A (in the form of carotenoids), vitamin C, vitamin K, and manganese. It is a very good source of copper, tryptophan, calcium, vitamin B6, and potassium; and a good source of iron, magnesium, vitamin E, vitamin B2, protein, vitamin B1, folate, phosphorous, and vitamin B3. It's also said to be an anti-inflammatory! With alllll that good stuff, how could I not try it?  


I'll admit, I'm not all that huge on a lot of leafy greens.  Different lettuces and spinach is about as leafy green as I get.  But they're so so good for you, and I figured, hey, why not?  Kale isn't terribly expensive and all the recipes for kale chips I've seen were terribly easy. 


Oh, after you buy your kale, be sure to put it in the fridge.  I didn't know you had to if you wanted it to not get a little wilty.  Next time!


So to make kale chips....


Preheat your oven to 275F.


Wash and DRY your kale thoroughly.  It's really important you dry it!!  


Tear bite sized pieces off the big stem.  You don't want the big stem.  I mean, I guess you COULD eat it later, but I have a feeling it won't be all that great since pretty much every kale recipe I've ever seen says to just toss that sucker.


Line a baking pan with foil (or parchment paper.  Or nothing if you like to bareback it. Woot!)  My pan ended up looking like this:

Toss the leaves in olive oil.  I only used maybe a teaspoon of oil which MIGHT have been too little.  And then sprinkle with salt.  I have been using sea salt for cooking lately and I like it a lot.  I'd REALLY like to get some of that Himalayan pink salt but with it being like $7 for a little package, Morton's salt is going to have to do it for me.

Pop the kale in the oven and bake for about 20 minutes, giving the chips a little toss maybe about halfway through.  WATCH THE CHIPS.  It's very easy to burn and you don't want burnt chips!!  You want them light and crispy.  

They will be a little smaller when they come out.  Kinda like Shrinky Dinks!

The verdict?

Well, surprisingly good!  They were definitely crispy.  They ARE very light but it's kind of like very thin cut potato chips.  But I won't lie.  After eating a couple, I thought, "This must be what eating leaves off the tree in autumn must be like."

I made another bowl of yesterday's rice salad for my dinner tonight and I ended up crumbling some kale chips in the bowl.  It was a great addition to the meal!

Next time, I think I'll toss them with a little more olive oil and perhaps use garlic salt on them.  One of my facebook friends was making sriracha salt (kosher salt mixed with a some sriracha sauce spread out on a cookie sheet to dry for a few days) and I think I may make a little batch to sprinkle some on some chips.  It's always great to find a new healthy snack!

Thanks, Sriracha!

Do you love Sriracha sauce? I'll admit, I use it a little more than I should. A little squirt into taco meat. A little squirt into spaghetti sauce. Yum!  I'd be dirty and make a joke about "cock sauce" right now, but once in a while you just have to take the high road.

Last night as I was looking around for dinner ideas, I came across a soy glazed chicken and rice salad dinner plan.  It sounded pretty good, but I knew I'd want to change things up a little.

Btw, if you expect exact measurements in any recipes I show, you'll be disappointed. I deal in splashes and dabs, not in grams and fluid ounces.

I used the French rice salad recipe that I found on the Food With Kid Appeal blog.  The blog, unfortunately, hasn't been updated since September of last year, but there are plenty of decent recipes there.

If you're using a whole grain brown rice, get your rice started now. It takes a good 30-45 minutes to get it done. Once it's done, put it in a strainer and run cold water over it because the salad should be at least just room temperature. I think I ended up with about 5 cups of rice, so I took 3 cups out and saved the remaining rice to eat later as a snack.  Brown rice is terrifically chewy and has a nutty flavor, so it makes a great warm snack if you microwave it a bit, then splash in some milk and drizzle a little honey over it.

To my rice, I added in 1 diced tomato, 1 diced avocado, half a can of corn, and half a chopped green onion.  In a bowl, whisk together some red wine vinegar (or balsamic or apple cider. Just whatever you have on hand.), a bit of olive oil, a squirt of sriracha, and a little salt and pepper.  Then dump it over the rice, mix it up, and taste it.  Good, right??  If it's done before your chicken is done, pop it in the fridge.  This is also a great recipe for the vegetarians in your life! This is what mine looked like.

For the chicken:

I used chicken thighs for this mostly because they were on sale and I couldn't find just a pack of legs, which was what I wanted to use.  You gotta roll with the punches.  Of course, if you want to be totally healthy, you can use your boneless skinless chicken breasts.

Preheat your oven to 375F. (If using the breasts [dirty!] then preheat to 350F).  In a bowl, put in some low sodium soy sauce, sriracha, honey, and garlic powder.  You'll need at least enough to coat your pieces of chicken.  If you like more spice, put more sriracha.  If you like more of a sweet taste with your spice, add in more honey.  It's really kind of up to you.  I LOVE honey and sriracha together as a marinade so I tend to go a little heavier on these.

If you're doing bone in chicken pieces like I did, it will take about 45 minutes to bake.  Boneless chicken would probably only take about 20-30 minutes.  If you wanted to and you're good at it, you could pop the chicken on the grill.  I never seem to be able to get chicken on the grill done properly, so the oven was my best bet.  About 30 minutes in, if you want, you can baste the chicken with a little more of the marinade.

I didn't get a pic of the chicken when it came out because I suck, but it had a lovely coating and was totally delish!

My mouth is totally happy with tonight's meal. The boyfriend called the rice salad "edible, but it's not tacos." Oh well. Baby steps!

And somewhere to go to laugh:  The Oatmeal: Dear Sriracha Rooster Sauce

Some Days...

Today was supposed to be a grocery shopping day.  I like to have a basic meal plan for the week when I head out to the stores because otherwise I'm just wandering around thinking "Well...that might work."  As a wise man once told me regarding dieting, "Fail to plan? Plan to fail."

Of course, I didn't think about planning meals for the week until last night after I had taken my melatonin, so nothing came to mind.  That's okay, I told myself.  I will just do it in the morning.

Let me just say right now that I am not now, nor have I ever been, a morning person.

Meal planning is probably better if you enjoy cooking and/or have people who like everything you make living in the house.  Since that's not the case here in the FHP household, I have to take to Google to attempt to find ideas that won't make me cry.

One site that I've found that's pretty helpful is Food On The Table.  Food On The Table finds sales at some of your local grocery stores, helps you find meals to prepare, and gives you a detailed grocery list to take shopping with you based on what you chose.  It IS a subscription based site if you want to take advantage of all the goodies, but if you just need a little help (or you're broke!), you can get 3 meals and your grocery list for free.  The FOTT blog is also a major help because every Monday, there is a meal planner for the week!  It's all pretty much normal, mostly healthy stuff, too. Nothing too fancy pants, which is awesome.

Sigh. I guess I should get back to planning.  Tomorrow IS a grocery day!

The start

It started in April.

Well, it started long before that, but we'll say it started in April.

My boyfriend started on some blood pressure medicine, and I noticed that my knee was really starting to hurt. Oh, I knew we were overweight. I'm not blind.  I knew that we'd both blown past being simply "chubby" a while ago and now we're firmly into the "fat" category.  In fact, I am probably in what my favorite "fluffy" comedian Gabriel Iglesias calls the "DAAAMN!" category.

I decided that it was time to do something about this.  Only, what to do?

Diet, of course, would be the major part.  But what diet? We'd both done Atkins before, with some moderate success, but even though I felt amazing by cutting white sugar and bread out of my life, I did not enjoy plowing face first into a birthday cake (Okay, I kinda did enjoy it) and then not being able to really get myself back on track.  I'd attempted South Beach, but it only lasted about a week.  Slim-Fast didn't do squat for me because I like to chew.  Weight Watchers was pretty decent, but I quit because I was taking a medication that caused weight gain and I felt like an ass going to meetings every week and gaining.

But it couldn't be THAT hard to just do what I knew to be good. More vegetables, less red meat, smaller portions.  Couldn't be simpler, am I right?

Nope. Wrong!

I didn't take a couple of things into account.  One, I'm not THAT great of a cook when it comes to healthy stuff.  Being both Texan and Latina is a handicap because I like very rich, heavy food.  I'm great at making comfort food!  And then, two?  My boyfriend really doesn't like vegetables!!

As much as I love recipe sites and blogs, none of them have really told me what to do with a picky eater.  Plus, a lot of them act like dinner time is an episode of Chopped with all kinds of weird ingredients I wouldn't know on sight, much less know what to do with.  I feel, a lot of the time, that I'm flying blind in the world of healthy eating.

So what is this blog about?  Food.  Being fat.  Being picky. Being hungry. There will be cursing. There will be bitching.  There will be pictures and recipes that usually won't have more than 5 or 6 fairly simple ingredients.

But more importantly, there will be hope and progress. And in the end?  There will be health.