Day 9 - Maybe My Head Will Fall Off

It's been a bad body week for me. I'm blaming it on the full moon.

So there was the dizzy episode at the gym on Sunday. I have come up with several other reasons why it may have happened, but now I think I'm so anxious that it might happen again, I'm deliberately making myself dizzy. Anxiety is fun, y'all.

Then 3 days ago, I went to the grocery store and I guess I stepped wrong because oh my GOD, does my foot hurt. Mostly when I point it, and not all the time, and it's happened before, but holy cow. I'm trying to stay off it, but sometimes it feels better if I walk. And sometimes it hurts so much I need to sit. I don't know.

Yesterday, my boyfriend was trying to solder a metal strip onto a watering can that he'd bought. The decorative strip came just hanging on to the can on one side when he opened the package. He asked if I could pull and hold the strip down while he clamped it. So I did. But he wanted it tight, so I went to slide my finger to tighten it and... SLICE!

Oh. My. God.

It's a good thing that blood doesn't freak me out. I ran to wash the cut and then applied pressure while he got bandaids and antibiotic cream. It doesn't hurt right now, but typing sucks with this bandage on my fingertip and I need to shower soon and it's going to suck to wash my hair.

What else can happen this week? My head could fall off, I guess?

By the way, that watering can is bad news bears because in the course of his little project [the can is to be modified so that a hose can run through it and into the pond], he burnt his leg and cut his finger, too. I told him that he should leave a bad review on Amazon that the watering can has now hurt the entire family, including the cat. [She's fine, but she could have been stabbed in the eye with the loose strip.]

So what else is new?

Since I've deemed myself too injured [and let's face it, too clumsy] for exercise this week, I've been doing a lot of reading and catching up on some TV shows. I've been reading some of Alice Walker's books, but to be honest, the only one I really enjoy is The Color Purple. Maybe because, since it's mostly written in Celie's voice, it doesn't feel quite as pretentious as The Temple of My Familiar and Possessing The Secret of Joy.

Speaking of pretentious, does anyone else watch Pretty Wicked Moms? My best friend got me into this show, and I'm kind of [ashamedly] enthralled with these womens' mostly ridiculous lives. But can we talk for a minute about Emily's earrings?

She wears these earrings in almost every single episode! And one time they showed her going to sleep in them! Given that she runs a fashion boutique, you'd think she'd want to wear all kinds of things. Even funnier, there's a YouTube video of her boutique from 2010 and she's wearing those SAME EARRINGS. I'm going to guess they were passed down from her great grandma or something and she has an incredible sentimental attachment to them, because I can't think of another reason for a supposed fashionista to wear the same tired old earrings for 3+ years.

I'm making chicken yakitori again tonight. Well, kind of. I'm using the sauce but just grilling full thighs and zucchini rather than making skewers. After this past week, I don't actually trust myself with a knife and wooden skewers at this point. I'd probably end up making some chicken coated punji stick.

Day 8 - I'm not a doctor but I've watched a lot of Grey's Anatomy

So I'm super medication sensitive. I can't take many things. I get side effects to pretty much everything, which is about as fun as it sounds.

This morning I tried a little packet of Amazing Grass Green Superfood. You add it to water, milk, smoothies, etc, and it has a bunch of vitamins and herbs and grass. Surprisingly, it tasted pretty much okay. I got it in the Orange Dreamsicle flavor. I drank it with breakfast this morning, and then a couple of hours later, I headed to the gym.

Now today was the first time I've been to the gym since getting my House Targaryen t-shirt. I wanted to be all kick-ass and Mother of Dragons at the gym! But well, Daenerys would have been ashamed of me because what happened next was stupid.

I thought that I'd do a strength training workout and then finish with some cardio on the treadmill. So I got in there and started out with a workout that Seth had me do back when I first started. 30 minutes in, and I thought, "Well, I'll do some step ups and squats with the weights." Things were going fine and then BAM! DIZZY SPELL.

Luckily I was standing right next to a bench when it happened, so I sat down quickly. But as scary as it should have been, my main thought was, "Oh HELLLLLL no. I'm not going to be the fat girl who dies in the gym and then my story is told to high school girls about not killing yourself working out if you're already superfat."

So I sat for about 5 minutes until the dizziness passed, got my stuff, and drove home.

My first thought was that maybe my blood sugar got too low. Usually when I go to the gym, I go within an hour of eating but this time I went later. As soon as I got home, I drank some juice and got a protein shake. Then I thought, well, I must not have been breathing correctly throughout my workout. That does tend to happen when I'm lifting just because I'm so focused on my form and what I'm doing, I forget to breathe.

But throughout the day, I've felt "off." A little dizzy still, a little bit not right. I sat here thinking about what I ate and what it might be. The only thing different that I had today was the Green Superfood. Since Google is my friend, I looked up if there were any side effects.

Two things popped out at me. One was maca. Now a lot of people, TONS of people, take maca supplements with no problem. But in some people, it causes dizziness and nausea. Hey, bingo!!

The second thing was stevia. I'm not really familiar with stevia because since I tend to be a little sensitive to artificial sweeteners, I don't use them a lot. I tend to use regular sugar, or honey, or nothing at all. I decided to look up side effects to stevia.

WELL WELL WELL.

From 3 Fat Chicks, some side effects of stevia are: Dizziness, bloating and nausea, low blood sugar, and low blood pressure. Also, stevia comes from the ragweed family, and guess who is allergic to ragweed? This girl!

So I am going to assume that these effects are not long lasting and I'll feel better tomorrow. But unfortunately, I can't use the other two packets of Superfood I bought. This is definitely NOTHING against the product or the Amazing Grass company at ALL. But this does bring me to a big realization: I need to stop just taking supplements without doing a LOT of research first so that I know exactly what it is I'm taking.

I think that eating regular meals with real food will do me a ton better than all these supplements and drinks I insist on buying just because they claim health and good benefits. Real food, real exercise. That's the prescription I'm giving myself.

Day 7 - Insomniac

Okay, you know, I pledged 31 days of posts, and dammit, I'm gonna do 31 days of posts. So let's pick up where we left off and even if it takes me until next year, I'm doing 31 flippin' posts.

I've had issues with insomnia since I was a kid. I also used to have sleepwalking issues, but thankfully I outgrew that before I got too big to handle. One time my sister caught me trying to get out of the house and when she asked me what I was doing, I said I was going to get the dog out of the box. Well then.

I can go a while without having too much insomnia, but when it does hit me, it's a mess. And unfortunately, that's been my life the past month or so. I WAS doing fine. In bed by 11, asleep by midnight, up by 8. It was all good.

But lately...not so much. If I'm asleep before 4am, it's a surprise to me. If I'm out of bed before 11, it's even more of a surprise. Since my schedule is pretty flexible [meaning: I don't actually have one], this isn't truly a huge deal. Except, you know, it is. When my sleep is all weird like that, I can't seem to make myself do much the rest of the day. I'm truly more of a night owl than anything else, but I do notice a huge change in my productivity levels when I sleep from midnight until 8 than when I sleep from 4 to 11.

Last night was pretty much the worst it's been, though. I tried! I took a melatonin, I got in bed by midnight, I really tried to sleep. But things keep making it impossible. My boyfriend was BLASTING some music in his office and it sounded like the symphony was right there in the bedroom. The cat patted my back just as I was dozing off, jerking me out sleep because I was pretty sure it was monsters. When I did finally fall asleep, somehow in my dream, Chevy Chase was yelling "IT'S THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER. THE OL' MISS. THE MIGHTY MISS-IS-SIP!" over and over until I woke up. For whatever reason, it scared me, which is stupid. I really like the movie Vacation.

So after tossing, turning, and watching the Footloose remake [Kenny Wormald, you will never be Kevin Bacon], I decided to get up. Took a Zegerid for the acid reflux I've been having again lately, waited an hour, took off my glitter nail polish disaster, waved a wet towel around the room trying to get rid of the smell before Don woke up and started complaining about nail polish remover, turned on my fan to high, scared the cat because seriously? Who waves a wet towel around at 6am? And then it was breakfast time.

I thought I'd just make a couple of eggs, but I discovered some extra zucchini that I had leftover from when I made the yakitori. So I diced one up, along with some mushroom, and decided to make a fritatta.





Also, I figured the smell of cooking zucchini and mushrooms might help the nail polish remover smell. I don't care about the smell myself, but someone has a delicate baby nose and he can't handle any smell that isn't cookies or tacos.

After I poured the egg into the vegetables, along with a little bit of diced ham and shredded cheese, I decided that I didn't feel like making a fritatta, which involves baking, and I'd just make an omelet. But well, then it just ended up being a scramble because you know what? I maybe got 3 hours of sleep and I don't care what society says about my eggs.





Do you like my extra fancy paper plate?

I popped all the ingredients into My Fitness Pal just out of curiosity and got this as a result:





Yes, I do try to always use real butter. I realize that it's higher in calories than a light margarine, but have you ever actually looked at the ingredients in those "light" spreads? There are 14 ingredients in Blue Bonnet light margarine to make it 50 calories a tablespoon. There are 2 ingredients in butter: cream and salt. Personally, I feel better about butter. I could have left out the ham and cheese, too, but I have read a lot of things that say it's okay to have a big breakfast to get your day started. Of course, there are probably as many things that say if you don't start your day with one strawberry and a cup of black coffee, you're doomed to a life of being superfat, but I tend not to believe those. Also, at my weight, my calorie goal for weight loss is almost 1900 calories a day. So for ME, this breakfast is awesome. For you, you might need to take it down a notch. Of course, if you work out, the calories in this will be probably be burned off in an hour.

Speaking of working out, I'm going to attempt the gym today. I'm thinking maybe if I really wear myself out today, I can sleep tonight. Here's hoping!

Day..Whoops.

Okay, so I kinda suck at this whole update every day thing. But considering I'm not actually sure if anyone is reading this, I guess it doesn't matter. :)

There are some weeks where my motivation is super high. I can power through any workout, eat well, sleep well, etc. But there are other weeks when my brain is saying, "Yes. DO THIS. You must!" And my body says, "LOLNOPE."

Because when you're superfat, sometimes your body makes the decisions for you. My brain might say, "GO GO GO!" but my legs say, "Naw gurl. Ain't happenin'." It's not a mind over matter thing. Your legs HONESTLY cannot go. Your feet hurt. Your arms feel heavy even without holding a weight. To push yourself means risking an injury because you know your form will be totally off.

It's been one of those weeks for me.

But, I know it won't last forever.

I tried out a new recipe yesterday - the chicken and zucchini yakitori from Skinnytaste. It was DELICIOUS.





I used rice wine vinegar in place of the sake because I don't drink and it would have been kind of worthless for me to buy a bottle of sake just to use 2 tablespoons of it. I also squirted in some sriracha because I love sweet and spicy. I had a couple of pounds of chicken thighs, so I doubled the recipe for the sauce. I also skewered in some baby bella mushrooms because those are my faves. I think I could have eaten every single skewer!! It was a party in my mouth and I didn't want to invite anyone because I wanted everything for myself. Even my boyfriend seemed to like them, and he is super picky!

We'll see what tomorrow brings. I don't want to make big claims of going to the gym and all that because I'm not sure how I'll feel tomorrow. But we can always hope, right? :)

Day 6 - Fitting Is Cool

So the other day when I was laying outside in the sunshine, I managed to hurt the toes in my left foot. I know, right? Only me. But I think when I went down on the ground, I bent them just a little too much, and as a result, ouch. It's mostly just my 2nd and 3rd toes, but it's left it kind of hard to walk around too much. I've done this before, on my other foot, by kicking the wall in my sleep. I know it'll go away on its own but it's hard to wait!

I did manage to get out a bit today AND I wore my new Game of Thrones shirt! [Btw, they're having a limited sale again on the shirts, so if you're looking for your own, head over to Pop Up Tee to get in on it!!] It was awesome to be able to wear it out and about and not feel self conscious in it. That was my biggest fear, that it wouldn't really fit and I'd have to wait to wear it. I think I'll love it even more when it's more loose! But yay for fitting!

Since I was trying not to move around too much today because of my toes, I thought I'd pull the camera out and attempt to do a little vlog that did not involve my face. Hahaha... My house did NOT come out very well in the video! I think if I plan on doing any vlogging, a BIG clean up of this house is going to have to take place.

Cleaning house burns calories? Right??

Day 5 - Ma Gorg

I woke up this morning with a migraine. It's not unusual for me to wake up with a little bit of a headache, most likely caused by my 11 pillows, but migraines are different and so so so not fun.

[Btw, never google "waking up with a headache." I'm a little convinced now that I have COPD and a brain tumor.]

I managed to sleep for a few more hours, then got up and had some caffeine and tylenol. It's gone now, but I feel kinda gross and sick. I've done nothingggg today but sit and watch YouTube videos.

Last night when I was alone, I thought, "Let's see what I'd look like if I vlogged." Yeahhhh. No. Normally I am okay with my face, but on the little video I shot last night, I looked like one of the Gorgs from Fraggle Rock.





So maybe vlogging will be out for a while.

I was going to make the chicken and white bean enchiladas from SkinnyTaste tonight for dinner, and I was going to blog all about them, but I don't much feel like cooking. I don't think we'll get fast food, but dinner will probably be whatever is in the fridge tonight and that's not as much fun to blog.

As a treat to myself, I got Divergent by Veronica Roth for my kindle. Some people have told me that I'll love it as I loved The Hunger Games, but I'm not sure about that given how much of a HG fan I am. We'll see!

Day 4 - Independence Dayyyyy

Happy 4th, to my American readers! [Well, assuming I have any... I'm not actually sure at this point.]

My boyfriend headed off to shoot fireworks with his friends who live in the country, so I took full advantage of our quiet house to recharge my mental batteries. I'm an introvert and sometimes I just desperately need alone time!!

I really wanted to sit outside and get some sun, but here lies the problem when you're superfat. A cheapie chaise lounge from Walmart is NOT going to hold your weight!! Those plastic patio chairs? Pretty much the same thing. We don't have the most awesome patio ever and we only have one rickety plastic lawn chair that's been outside forever. I'm pretty sure if I sat in it, I'd crush it like a bug.

But after thinking about it for a while, I decided, hey, you know what? Just because I don't have a chair doesn't mean I can't go get a little sun. So I gathered up an old bedspread, a semi-flat body pillow, my kindle, and my phone and headed outside. I was only outside for about 30 minutes, but it truly made me happy to be down on the ground like that, soaking in the sun. I read somewhere that getting 20-30 minutes of sunshine a few times a week was good for eczema/psoriasis, so I wanted to give it a try.

Oh! That brings me to something else. For the past few months, I've had this weird thing going on with my face. Under the corners of my mouth, along the sides of my nose, and between my eyebrows, I've had these persistent flakes. Doesn't really itch much or anything like that, but it's ugly and no amount of exfoliation or moisturizer was really cutting it. I mentioned it to my mom when we were out yesterday, and she said, "Oh, your cousin had that when she was little. Your aunt bought her something for it. We'll go to the drugstore."

Turns out, what she was thinking of was Cetaphil. We bought the Cetaphil Daily Facial Cleanser and the Cetaphil Restoraderm Skin Restoring Moisturizer. Holy cow, y'all. Damn if this stuff doesn't work. I washed my face and put some of the lotion on last night and this morning I woke up flake free for the first time in months!! I only needed a little bit of the lotion, too, because it's sooo creamy. Love love love. I know I'll need to give it at least a couple of weeks to see if it's really made a difference, but it's almost midnight and I only have a couple of tiny flakes on one side of my mouth, and that's a huge improvement over the past few months.

I'm yawning like crazy, so I guess it's time for bed. Maybe I can finally get myself back on schedule so I can wake up early for the gym. Here's hoping!

Day 3 - Placenta Head

Busy busy day today! I didn't get home until almost 8pm and now I'm trying to calm my anxious kitty down because some jerks nearby are setting off firecrackers. Fab. This is definitely not a food/exercise post because I suck.

ANYWAY... In my few minutes of serenity this morning, I tried a new-to-me product on my hair. I have really long hair right now. When I let it go down my back, it's almost to my waist. It's getting a little dried and scraggly on the ends these days because I'm well overdue for a trim and no amount of conditioning product seems to help. As I was boppin' around the hair care aisle at Walmart on Monday, my eye fell on a little brown pack with a pretty gross sounding name.




I know, I know. PLACENTA?! But let me tell you guys this - If someone told me putting ostrich poop on my hair while dancing the hokey pokey would make my hair look nice, I'd do it.

[Btw, you can't tell me to do that now.]

I picked up little pack for 98 cents at Walmart. I figured if it didn't work, at least I wasn't out much money, unlike the time I spent $50 on Biolage stuff at the salon and it was all crap and gave me dandruff.

So the instructions say to wash and towel dry your hair, massage the conditioner into your hair, rinse and style as usual. I read a few reviews and most people said that what they do is wash their hair, put the conditioner on, and then put a plastic bag or shower cap on an let it soak in for 10+ minutes. I forgot to buy shower caps, so I went to the shower this morning armed with my pack of conditioner, a Walmart bag, and a hair clip.

Some people say they don't like the scent of this stuff, but I found it really pleasant. Kinda floral, kinda not, but it's pretty. I used the entire pack on my head but if you have short hair, one pack might last you 2 uses.

I gotta say... I like it! My hair is super soft and super shiny.




I will soooo totally buy this again.

When I was looking for the Hask website, I realized that they are also owned by the company that owns Jhirmack, and back in the early 80s, there was almost always a couple of bottles of Jhirmack shampoos and conditioners in our bathroom.

On my way home tonight, someone in a truck threw a beer can out of the window and it almost hit my car. Crazy people out there for the holiday already, so be careful if you go out! I don't think I'll leave the house until Friday!

Day 2 - Trials and Tribulations

Okay okay, not really trials and tribulations, but I'm listening to some people chatting and they said it and it made me laugh. "You can't have trials without tribulations! They're a package deal!"

So, another mostly sleepless night led to me waking up super late again. I don't know what to do about this! Tonight I can't afford to stay up super late because tomorrow I've got to take my mom to the doctor, so I need to be up reasonably early. I guess I'll turn to melatonin tonight. Bah!

Since it's Tuesday, it was Taco Tuesday here in the FHP household because my boyfriend is crazy about his tacos. I mean, I am PRETTY sure he could eat them every day and be happy. I don't care for them that much, but I put up with them for him. They're definitely better with some fresh made pico de gallo!




Sorry for the blurry pic. My camera isn't the best in the world. :)

Usually I buy pico de gallo from Sprouts, but it's about $4 for a container. Great for convenience and it always tastes great, but with produce being pretty inexpensive at Sprouts anyway, I could buy the ingredients and make it myself for half the price. I love that the tomatoes were so much brighter than the ones that are in the Sprouts pico de gallo!

Of course, me being me, I needed to test and see how hot the jalapeno was before chopping it up to put in. I didn't want it to be TOO hot, you know? So I sliced the jalapeno and licked it.

My tongue was pretty much burning for a few hours.

But I didn't get any in my eyes, so you know...there's that.

Day 1 - Oh hell.

Sometimes you really do go to bed with the best intentions.  Last night I went to bed thinking, "Okay, self!  Tomorrow we'll wake up at 8am, have breakfast, hit the gym by 10, and do cardio and upper body strength training.  Then we'll come home, drink a protein shake, shower, and head to the grocery store.  Then we'll come home, make some lunch, clean the kitchen, do some online stuff, and then get started on dinner. Sounds GREAT!"

Yeah, well.

I haven't been sleeping great because I have anxiety issues.  Now here's the thing: When I work out regularly?  The anxiety is a LOT better.  Like, as in, it's almost not there.  But since I've been a total sloth the last couple of weeks, OH HI ANXIETY.  So I thought I'd be awesome and take half a xanax so that I could sleep.

Ohhhh buddy, did I sleep!  In fact, I slept right through my alarm and slept right until almost 11:30.  Wheee!

Now don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with going to my gym in the afternoon. I just don't prefer to if I can help it.  Especially right now with school being out and all the high school/college kids there. I like it in the morning better because I feel like I can get a better workout.

But, since that didn't happen, I headed to the grocery store for the week's groceries because I am determined not to eat out so much.

[Okay, confession time. When I woke up, my boyfriend brought me McDonald's, which I happily ate because if there's one thing good for breaking out of my xanax brain fog, it's a big dose of salt, sugar, fat and caffeine.  But I didn't drink all my Coke. I really never do.]

Tonight's dinner is hobo packs!  Let me just say right now that I mean no offense by the word HOBO.  I got the idea for hobo packs from a friend of mine and then there was this big discussion about the word hobo being offensive.  But considering some of the people we know are offended by air, this doesn't mean all that much to me.  We did change the name to "transient feast," which is totally amusing to me because inappropriate things are always amusing to me. I'm just that much of a jerk. :)

So what's a hobo pack, you ask?  It's a foil pack of deliciousness!!  You can put just about anything in it but in general, it's some kind of meat and some veggies piled on top, sealed in some foil and thrown on the grill or baked in the oven.  I LOVE THEM.

Tonight's packs contain turkey sausage, baby red potatoes, purple onion, red pepper, baby bella mushroom, and baby carrots. [I'm all about baby vegetables for some reason.]  I seasoned it with Lawry's seasoning salt, black pepper, and about a teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce. [Thank you, spell check, because I can never spell Worcestershire.]






 Oh, and I put a few slivers of garlic in it. I forgot about that. I folded up the packs and then put another layer of foil on them since I would be grilling them. In the oven, just one layer of foil was fine. Keep your grill on low-medium if you decide to do these on the grill. If you oven bake, set the oven to 350. I decided to pop them on the grill. The first time I ever made these, I did them with a hamburger patty and put them in the oven so I wanted to see if there would be much of a difference.


 


 Now don't expect this to be a QUICK meal. It's not. It's an EASY meal. It's a DELICIOUS meal. But quick? Not so much. That is okay, though because if you're like me, you have other things to do while these cook. If you do them on the grill, I suggest letting them cook for 15 minutes, then flipping and cooking for another 15. What I did afterwards was turn off the grill and let them sit for another 15 because I was doing some other stuff. But your mileage may vary and depending what you put in the pack, you might not want it to cook that long. If you do them in the oven, it'll take about 45 minutes to an hour. While they were cooking, I put together a simple green salad and cooked some corn on the cob and put a band-aid on my thumb because I cut myself on foil. That's normal.

Okay, time to open the pack! Are you excited? [Humor me!]

 


 YUM!!!!

 When I made these before in the oven, everything was cooked and delicious, but it was more like they steamed. These look GRILLED. If you want, you can just make a bowl from your foil and eat it like that for totally easy clean up, but since I was having other stuff, too, I put them on our fancy fancy paper plates.

 



 Does that not look delicious?

 It's SUPER filling and if I were nice, I'd get a calorie count for you. It's approximately 500-600 calories for a pack, the corn is about 80 calories for a cob, a pat of butter is about 40 calories [please use real butter. Don't eat any of that margarine crap.], and salad is salad, you know? There's not all that many calories in lettuce and tomatoes. And of COURSE you don't have to eat any extra sides. I was just super hungry after all the shopping!

So, day one is down. I did walk for about 2 hours doing my shopping, and I was up and down for an hour while making dinner, so I guess at least there's that. Tomorrow IS a gym day, though!!